Mojiri's Law
A more recent addition to Springer Spoofs is Mojiri's Law, a list of "laws" simular to Murphy's Law but more geared towards flamers, idiots, internet and miscellaneious other items. At the moment, there are many gaps in areas due to the fact that I (Alex) could not come up with all three hundred sixty-five (365) of Mojiri's Law alone. In fact, many of these laws were contributions from several people.
[ Main | 001 - 091 | 092 - 182 | 183 - 274 | 275 - 365 ]
Mojiri's Law
Laws 001 - 091
001: The Flamer Handbook declares that responses such as 'ur stoopid/lame', 'ur stie sux' and 'i hate u!!!!!111!oneityone!!11eleven' are perfectly acceptable even if said responses make you look like a complete moron.
002: The one free hour you get to answer email, your computer runs updates the entire time, slowing the computer and then making you restart three times before you realize you are out of time and have to go to school/work/somewhere important.
003: Everything is easy to find on the internet...except an intelligent conversation.
004: The day that you need someone to talk to, chances are that no one is online and those that are don't want to talk.
005: The week you decide to go on vacation is the week that everyone decides to be come super active in just about all of the RPGs you are in.
006: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
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026: When a person's body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
027: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
028: If you lack webfame, your only visitors will be family/friends that you forced to look at the site and spammers looking for forums/guestbooks/chatboxes to harass/advertise there site in.
029: If your computer feels the need to crash, nine times out of ten it will do so right before you save that project you've been working on for hours.
030: Chances are, that if you really need to get something done, your computer will always find a way to not have enough memory to run the program or unceremoniously crash and die.
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[ Main | 001 - 091 | 092 - 182 | 183 - 274 | 275 - 365 ]
Mojiri's Law
Laws 092 - 182
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101: If you create something, someone will hate it.
102: If you create something, someone will come along and try to claim it as their own, even if the evidence proves that you originally created it.
103: If you take an image off of someone's site and simply link back to their site, that does not mean they gave you permission to have the picture up on your site. You will be caught and yelled at, if not something worse.
104: Even if you take artistic license and state that you took artistic license, someone will comment that it's wrong.
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[ Main | 001 - 091 | 092 - 182 | 183 - 274 | 275 - 365 ]
Mojiri's Law
Laws 183 - 274
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199: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
200: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
201: If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
202: Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
203: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
204: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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[ Main | 001 - 091 | 092 - 182 | 183 - 274 | 275 - 365 ]
Mojiri's Law
Laws 275 - 365
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358: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
359: Give an idiot a computer and he will surf the internet for a day. Teach him that it's okay to leave comments in guestbooks (et al), and he will lose the ability to write even the most basic of sentances.
360: The day you get a chat box, forums and/or guestbook is the day your amount of flamers increase by ridiculous amounts.
361: Logicaly, responding to flamers is a waste of time. But since there is no logic (fuzzy or otherwise stated) within the pea sized brain of a flamer, poke them along with a cattle prod and get more fodder for a new episode of Springer Spoofs.
362: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
363: No matter how well your site is known, there will be someone who comes thinking you should take your site down.
364: Whenever you need to access a site in an emergency, one of the following always happens:
- It crashes your browser
- The site gives you a virus
- The server can’t be found
- The site is out of date
- The site no longer exists
365: Anything that goes around, comes around and smacks (Insert Some Sort of Name Here) four times as hard.
[ Main | 001 - 091 | 092 - 182 | 183 - 274 | 275 - 365 ]